I know what you all think. Here’s some clichés: “I don’t give second chances”, “I hate second chances”, “second chances are for weak people”. And I used to agree.
But lately I thought that I was wrong, because I was looking at them from the wrong perspective: second chances are great! We always think that they are all about giving up and surrender, hoping that the lucky obtainer of your weakness would not fuck it all up again. But that’s a wrong point of view!
What if second chances are exclusively for ourselves. It’s us, and only us, who deserves a second shot. So what if we change our perspective and start realizing that we’re not giving a second chance to that shitty boyfriend, that crappy job or that stupid friend who betrayed us. We are giving it to ourselves.
Well, it’s easy to say but really harder to practice. Especially if you are even a bit like me: the highest and most severe judge of myself. Not only I don’t deserve my compassion if I do something wrong, but even if I’ve actually done something good in a matter of 2 seconds here comes a familiar voice: “you should have done it better”.
As you all got I didn’t give myself many second chances, but when I did I found myself amazed by the result.
Like that one time I was betrayed by a friend and swore I would never ever give my trust again to other people. But you can’t really say you’re friend with someone if they don’t have your trust. So I gave friendship another shot. And it was really worth it, ‘cause now I’ve learnt to give my trust and my love just to those who understand the important meaning of friendship.
Or that time I lost faith in love. Ahhh love disillusions or failures are the worst. But then again, after all that suffering, complaining and questioning about my ability to judge people, didn’t I deserve a second shot? Well, if you asked myself at that time I would have certainly said no, ‘cause I failed once and the odds that I would do it again were just too high. But then I met someone who was worth trying. So I gave love a second chance and it just blew my mind! This time was different… it was better! Learning from my past mistakes, having all that experience of grief and disappointment behind my back actually made me a better person. A person who deserves to be loved better. I wouldn’t have known that if after my sorrow I had closed my heart forever.
So whether if you gave up on friendship or love, whether if you want to burn your school or your office down… just try really hard to give it another chance.
‘Cause you know how they always say how first time experiences are so great and bla bla bla… Well they’re wrong. First times might be unforgettable, but second chances are way more awesome!
Thank you for reading