If you ever loved somebody you know how hard it is. To love, to be loved, to take care of your relationship: it’s a damned job!
Relationships are like a beautiful, but yet so fragile, flower. In order to maintain it you have to take care of it: put it in a topsoil where you’ll know it will receive its strength, give it water everyday, pull away the weeds… And it’s you and just you two who have to take care of this flower.
So you first put the bases, the topsoil, which is the respect for each other. I personally think my man is the best person in this world. He is smart, handsome, kind, generous and funny. If I thought he was any less than this (or any less than me) I wouldn’t be able be with him. It all started with a deep, almost sacred, admiration. For the first time in my life I met someone who could tell me thousands of things I didn’t know, someone whose opinion would be from that day on the most valued.
As the roots start to grow, in a blink of an eye here it is: the first sprout of your love. It’s so genuine and pure, but never forget it’s the most fragile part of your flower. There are indeed some weeds that could suffocate him in a matter of a day. Those weeds are our flaws, our mistakes, other people’s cruelty. We first need to accept that we are humans, therefore we can’t be perfect. Easy to say, not really easy to deeply accept it since you really thought the other person was flawless! Plus your little sprout is so beautiful that some (miserable) people might start to be jealous and would do anything in their power to destroy it. I don’t have much to say about this kind of people, they are so superficial that they think they can easily rip off the sprout, but they forget about the roots!
When your flower finally blossoms it’s breathtaking. You understand that what you have in your hands it’s the most precious thing in your life. Once you have it you can’t accept your love to be nothing less than this beautiful. Therefore you have to work on it in your everyday life: show love to each other everyday, be kind and comprehensive, help each other, listen to each other…
It might look something easy to do but sometimes it can be so difficult. There are days that your flower doesn’t look as good as the beginning. Nothing really changed between the two of you, but in those days something is different. You’re nervous, you snap at each other for no reason, you’re rude, in the middle of your rage you say something hurtful which you regret immediately but you said it… How do you do in those days, when everything seems to go the wrong way? Sure at first you whish you were single or at least that love could be easier. But the fact we have to fight for love it means we value it. I learnt that when my flower has some little marks I have to be patient and give it what it needs. Does it need compassion? I’ll give it. Does it need an apology? Does it need my presence or my absence? Whatever it needs I’ll give it, because the most important thing it’s my flower.
Never let pride or anger or fear keep you from giving water to your flower. Go back to the start, go back to the roots and remember why you put the bases of your love. All the answers to your questions are there, in your intertwined roots.
As you see loving each other it’s a dangerous game and even the apparently plainest and most stabled couples had to go through hell to look that way. Never judge if you don’t know.
Now could you imagine on top of this hard work being in a country where your love is not recognized? You put so much effort in your flower and then the State just tells you that you can’t get married, you can’t have kids, you can’t take care of your sick partner in a hospital, because in front of the law your union simply doesn’t exist. Well this is what still happens to gay couples in many countries and it’s simply horrifying. Their love matter as much as mine, they put the same effort I put in my relationship, so why they can’t be recognized as a couple and I can? It truly is as simple as that: love is the same fight for everyone. And as long as it’s pure it has to be honoured.