Resilience is Useless Without the Love of an Helper

No man is an island” (J. Donne).

Then why is it so difficult to accept someone’s help? No matter how close we are to the helper, we always wished that we could make it on our own. Probably because after overcoming a difficult time or a bad experience we enjoy more than anything to look back in time and say: “I made it“.

But what about when you can’t solve the problem, when events are submerging you and you don’t know where to start to fix them. Well at that point a normal person would ask someone for a hand. But I can’t. It’s simply overwhelming for me the idea that I couldn’t cope with my situation and to ask for help is the ultimate humiliation. So most of the time I sink in the deep deep water of pride until either I find a way to go up or someone realizes that I’m drowning and therefore comes to help me. How scary though is that I would rather drown than ask someone for help? I guess this is how I am.

No matter how hard life can knock me down, deep down I know I can always survive. They say this is called resilience: the quality that allows some people to be knocked down and come back stronger than ever. Indeed I know that first pointing down my elbows, then sitting on my knees and finally up on my feet I will never give up and I will never stop fighting for what I believe in.

No matter how much the world asks me to make do with what I have, I cannot help myself to want more, first from myself and then from the others. For the longest time I thought average is what we all deserves, but now I know that I want the extraordinary in my life. I want to discover the beauty of nature in each corner of the world, I want to have passion for what I do, I want love in every corner of my life, I want purity and transparency in everything that concerns me and my world. I want to be taken care of without having to ask for it. I want to feel real emotions, discover new stronger bonds, I want to dream and wake up with the idea that one day what I dreamed can become true.

I am done with average, boredom, hypocrisy and I am especially done to settle for less. I want to be a part of an interesting world where every day you can learn something new and not a world in which who stays in a room learning by heart a textbook gets more awarded than someone who actually LIVED. I want a world in which equality is not only possible but it is a right: I want women to be free to think, do, wear, feel and love what they want, without anyone’s prejudice upon them. I want to be part of an uninterrupted and selfless giving and to despise those people who hide their thirst for a compensation under their fake smiles and promises. I want to pursuit my happiness, which can be totally different from yours or just the same. There is room for everyone to get his/her chance at happiness.

As you can see I want many (im)possible things and you’re probably wondering what this stupid blabber has to do with resilience and the difficulty to ask for help. Well, I’ve just realized that I can’t make any of my dreams come true unless I ask for help. I cannot do any of the things that I listed without the help of my loved ones. So what is the utility of being resilient if you cannot achieve any of your dreams? What’s the point in showing off your strength if you can’t be part in things greater than yourself (aka all the best ones)?

Only showing your weakness and allowing the love of an helper to heal it can lead you to the most amazing achievements in life.


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