It took me a year to finally write again.
Not that my four readers missed me, it’s just that I needed time.
There’s a famous singer in Italy, Luigi Tenco, who once was asked why all his songs were sad. He replied “Because when I’m happy, I go out!”.
Well, I think something similar happened to me. When I first started writing on this blog I had the urge to speak my mind on quite a few topics and the first 5/6 articles came out so quickly, like a long breath I’ve been needed to take for a long time.
Then, when I finally poured it all out, I felt like I needed more inspiration and – God forbid! – the last thing I can do is writing something insignificant.
I have not the arrogance to say that everything I write is interesting, but I sure believe that if you have nothing interesting to say you should shout your mouth and at least pretend to be smart.
The main problem, I think, is that this period of temporary “inspirational voidness” actually corresponded with a deep and vivid fullness in my life.
I have been truly busy being tremendously and awfully HAPPY.
Everything in my life is far from being perfect (even though I spend quite a few hours per day trying to make it look like that) but something amazing happened to me.
I have learnt that as much as I want to be independent (i.e. see my post on the importance of learning how to be alone), the greatest joy comes from meeting your significant other.
I found the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. How I managed to be so lucky I truly don’t know, but here I am standing in front of all my dreams being so close I can almost touch them.
Me, as a person who finally accepted that I won’t be the first in the class, that I won’t be a supermodel and I won’t be the new Philipp Roth (but there’s always hope on that), I stand before a man who manages to see all the above in me. And he stands before me, who see the beautiful man he is, with a pure soul, a sharp and clear intelligence and the capacity to make me smile all the time. All the time.
He is everywhere in me and around me.
He is an unexpected sunny morning while I walk to work, he is the music in my ears, he is the poems I read and the words I speak. He is the reasons underneath everything I do, think, say and not say. He is the piece of my heart I thought I’d lost forever. He is my shelter from the harshness of the world, the only person next to who I want to fall asleep.
He is my family.
You see, I am sorry but I’ve been busy.
At the least, the good thing about work keeping us apart is that I can get a little inspiration back!